Art

I have never been very good at following directions. Growing up I was the kid who hated coloring. I always wanted to draw my own picture and do it with my own colors. Lately, though, it feels like I've been coloring, to an extent. I've been living in the world rather than carving and painting out standards and values that fit me. I want to become a choice daughter of God and that means overcoming my weaknesses and trusting in the Lord.
Dating, for me lately, has been a sort of experience. It seems to me that finally I'm starting to date after most of my friends. My wall of death (engagement) has grown rather full, and soon my roommate and I may have to get some more magnets for our poor fridge. Still, with all this dating, it's come to mind that I still need to learn a lot more about dating and to put my trust in the Lord's timetable. Sometimes it feels like none of my plans work out. I know that Mr. Right is out there somewhere, and that if I can become the best person I can and draw closer to the Lord, that will, in many ways, draw me closer to him when the time is right. I need to return to my Father in Heaven and draw ever nearer to Him. I need to cease the distractions of the world. I think perhaps I will stop watching television and be more careful about movies, even those on dates. I want to hold myself to the highest standards because the more I use the standards as stairs, rather than viewing them as obstacles, the happier I will ultimately be. Movies and television seem to be increasingly lewd. They mock chastity and glorify violence. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be desensitized to the Spirit of the Lord and I fear that may happen unless I put on the full armor of God and, to an extent withdraw from the world. I do not need television. I do need scripture study. I do not need to spend my time on online games. I do need to spend my time establishing a house of service, fasting and prayer. I have such a long way to go, and these ideals still seem lofty. I do want to become closer to my Father in Heaven. I want to be more like Christ. I don't need the world to tell me I'm this or that. I am a Daughter of Heavenly Father. I don't want to fit their molds, I want to fit His. He knows who I am and has a unique picture that we will draw together. I am not a coloring book page. I am, and am hoping to become, a Masterpiece.